An Open Letter To Ed McMahon

Dear Mr. McMahon:

I am so sorry to hear of your financial problems and the foreclosure on your big, expensive home. Sir, I have a proposal for you: come live with Tony and me. Hopefully you like dogs because we have two.

In return for room and board, we do ask that you pick up after yourself, and you don’t have loud and late parties. Oh, this is important: every single time Tony comes home from work, you need to say, “Heeerrrrrreeee’s Tony!” And laugh at all of his jokes — not just the funny ones.

I will await your response. But I cannot image you’ll get a better offer than this.

Carole

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